Thursday, May 31, 2007


as I dragged my feet up on the stairs after yet another disconsolate performance in my internals somehow I was more melancholy than usual…6 semesters and have been through this many times before, and in fact a little too frequently for my liking. I asked myself when will this drudgery end…a deep sigh escaped my heart. I turned the key and entered into the familiar mess. I sipped the last few drops of water from the bottle and shook it to emptiness. I threw it aside not without a part of the despondency I was feeling, and it fell noisily. Am I over reacting? After all it was an internal. Yes Most of my friends would say. Though my marks have never been kind of somebody’s envy, I know at least a few would gladly settle for it. Somehow the kind of nonchalance and imperviousness I bank on eluded me today. This was not a question of today perhaps; it was a symptom of a more deeply rooted unease, a reluctance to accept the present in dangerous connivance with stubbornness, an inertia vehemently resisting change. I try to pull myself off this superficial, self-inflicted gloom, by deafening it with loud music, drowning it with perfectly frivolous activities and diverting it to something else... Something that’s less tasking, less meaningful. The symptoms subside the disease persists. They’ll keep gnawing within until I have the courage to uproot rather than prune, they’ll feed on my cowardice and comeback stronger. Until then from my side.. Godspeed !!

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