If....

If you can keep your tail-up when all about you 
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you; 
If you can get others to trust your when all men doubt themselves, 
But make allowance out of their doubting too; 
If you can cheat and not be tired by cheating, 
Or, being lied about, or dealing in lies, 
Or, being hated, but don't stop taking dues, 
And  don't spend too much, nor charge too less;
If you can call a spade a spade and
yet get the other fellow to dig his own grave out of it,
If you can boast - and  have others raise a toast  to it, 
If you can think – or even otherwise
 make others think you can do so for them; 
If you can meet with triumph and disaster 
And show those two imposters just the same balance sheet; 
If you can twist the half- truth you've spoken 
and catch them in a cycle of words, a  trap for fools, 
Or watch the things they gave their lives, breaking, 
And stoop and sell them the same thing in a different packing;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings 
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, 
And lose, and tell the winner you’ll settle it minus taxes in his account, 
And never breath a word about your gain to the government; 
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew 
To serve the different colored heads of the old man,, 
And so hold on when there is nothing in you 
Except the Will which says to them: "two more rupees";
If you can mingle with crowds and keep your margins, 
Or walk with kings - nor lose your volumes; 
If neither foes nor loving friends like you; 
If you count all men  with debts they owe you, but none too much; 
If you can fill the unforgiving minute 
With sixty seconds' worth of  ROI - 
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, 
And - which is more - you'll be a Business -Man my son! 


P.S-Apologies to Mr Rudyard Kipling ,who is turning in his grave.

Relishing the humble pie

I have had a creepy feeling since a long time that life,as mean as ever,listens to my innermost thoughts and decides for some vague reason to show me the middle finger and makes me do the exact things that I feel I detest.I have an ego as elaborate as the Large Hadron Collider and it gets worked up pretty quickly .So I have adopted this strategy wherein I secretly say to myself that I would really hate to work in Google or that I would not like it a bit to win a Nobel prize for proving String theory.(For those of you who want to say it might not be possible to prove strings,well that's precisely my point !) .Though it has not worked till now,I rather give it some time.
Now the other thing that I am doing is telling myself to enjoy whatever previously I had detested.So i listen to all my colleagues now and like my work.The point ultimately is to make life loose interest in what I hate and make it to focus on what I like.

Till then every humble pie that I am made to eat is well... delicious.

P.S - I am indebted to the two gentlemen and the lady who have benevolently put themselves as 'followers' of my blog.But in their own safety and to help them in avoiding any possible public humiliation,I am not going to disclose their identities.Thank you. ;)
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Cynics of all-weather,sulk together

I have often felt that I sulk too much.My father has told it to me several times,my mother makes it a point to mention it once every fortnight.So,  of late I have really been  trying hard not to you know..... sulk.For about a month or so I felt I was doing reasonably well.I was getting to hear absolute non-sense and yet I kept quiet. Thinking that universe as a whole isn't that bad. I brushed aside the most wily insinuations as unintended innocuous remarks and life was pretty much ok.It was then that I met a colleague who was also giving the GRE.The first thing she said to me was"Isn't GRE absolute rubbish".If only u know how hard it was for me not to ramble on...I just managed a feeble "I don't know".Next she comes up with "Don't they treat us like some laborers at this place?..I mean we are highly qualified".That was it ...a tinge of conceit always makes people look attractive...you know and that's how the girl with the irritatingly, strong mother tongue influence, became my friend and we have happily sulked ever since.In fact i now realize most of my friends are unmistakably bound by this common 'sulking' thread.People with added disdain and sarcasm become friends i admire
I guess that is why friends are there...each individual is unique and hence a friend will give you new perspectives from which you can crib. and it's so much better to do it together...

Snide(r's) List

Warning-This post has no intrinsic value in the true tradition of this blog itself.Self obsessed readers with the rare ability to read about others, stretching the limits of snobbishness might read on.

        For quite a few years now,I have been maintaining a mental list of people who are more intelligent than me.Needless to say given my excessive conceit,I have managed perhaps conveniently, to keep it really small.Of course my sample space is a relatively small set of people with whom i have had substantial interaction with.Currently the number stands at 5.I am willing to concede that there have been atleast 4 more potential entrants whose candidatures were shelved only because of lack of further evidence.The system broadly works like this.A one member jury ( I ) am on the lookout for people who have managed to do better than I or what I would have done.Once on the radar,the person is carefully scrutinized for "Innate Intelligence" which is the single largest important quality being evaluated for.Innate Intelligence is characterized by a uniformly superior perspective the candidate brings upon any and each topic he discusses.Once the Jury has grudgingly accepted that the candidate indeed is innately intelligent,the Jury compares itself with the candidate in every possible nonsensical way to see if he is holistically superior.This procedure can take as long as a year to complete.It is here that regrettably, many deserving people drop-off.The procedure,is absolutely harmless and care is taken that no overt embarrassment is caused to anybody concerned.For the candidate,as has been observed,it can at utmost, lead to obtaining superficial answers to some unsettling questions about the Jury.The fact that inspite of  such idiotic and ludicrous criteria,5 people have been chosen,is a testimony to their abilities.If you are one among the elite,apart from hats,you have the following (given)off to you- You have  undivided attention whenever you speak.You have a backing in your every endeavor as long as it does not indicate a sudden cerebral desolation.You will be spoken of very highly to all who care to listen.You will experience an unheard amount of congeniality and optimism during your interactions.Perhaps most importantly you are free of any insinuations that "others" are usually subjected to.(If you had expected anything better,you should have looked carefully at the test itself ).  

JUST A WAIT

How do you ever know  if you have waited long enough?..especially when it's the kind of waiting that has kept you alive..... 

I have looked away at times only so that I could turn back with greater eagerness.. as if giving myself a chance to be surprised.I have won several times against myself,betting that you won't come today.

I have lost more.

It's not that i have never tried to leave.But whenever i was about to, from somewhere a cursed whisper always came and said "one more minute" and i gave in.At other times when that voice was too tired to protest, and i was about to start,all these people whom I knew apparated before me with that typical smirk painted on their faces that says"I Had told you before".(People  always do this.I guess it is one of those nature's urges that they must cater to.) And I stayed... not because i wanted to prove them wrong,It's just that they are usually wrong about most things...and so  I came up with one more reason to stay .

 I stayed put .Firstly 'coz I wanted to and later for a greater part 'coz i didn't know what else to do.

But you don't have a clue.Do you? .It's not that you had told me that you'll come.It's I who had assumed it as obvious.May be you don't think so.I wish I knew for once.But i guess that's not necessary.All it would have changed are the reasons.  

TRYing ad absurdum

In my childhood,I was often quoted an example of the king  Robert Bruce who was inspired by a spider to wage a war.The story goes that the king was watching a spider,which after six laborious ,failed attempts to swing from one beam to another,finally in a valiant seventh time, managed to hoist itself over.Good for the spider...but was his highness taking the analogy too far in comparing himself with a creature happily engrossed in netting the cave ?.... An undocumented clarification issued by the newly appointed, insect kingdom's lawyer Mr Barry B. Benson(of the Bee Movie fame) and Mr Ram JethMalani, certainly opines so.(you might have heard about Mr Jethmalini .....They say in India,people who commit crime go behind bars.People who commit crime but have money go to Ram JethMalani.) .In an article published in the People and Insects magazine,the duo claim they have discovered an ancient 12th century scroll- nittings by the famous traveller Archano Tsang.The scroll was found buried under the many skeletons in Mr Jethmalani's closet.The discovery has been termed net-breaking by the spider community.The scroll says that the concerned spider(now classified under the kingdom Araneidae) was actually playing a game called silver swing, wherein you try to swing between two structural elements( that are able to resist bending loads), without touching either of them.After six very good swings,the spider committed a foul and lifted himself over in the famed seventh attempt.It was this, that caught the king's eye.Apparently,the spider in question ,was visibly upset.(of course the emotion escaped the notice of the king who had already started beaming by then...)
Mr Barry felt  it was unfortunate that the human race should draw inspiration from an invalid and unintentional "swing" and not the six other well executed ones.Mr Jethmalini, however tried to alleviate the mood of Mr Barry by explaining how indian politicians often swing successfully between two or sometimes even more parties without really setting foot in any of them...Mr Barry was quite intrigued by this and expressed interest in visiting the Lok Sabha.

The pointlessness of this whole Jabberwocky is that ...you should .......Try and Try and Try again,only if you have absolutely nothing else to do.Perhaps,not even then.

Perseverance is highly overrated.It's in fact dangerous.A slight overdose can be extremely suicidal.The worst thing is everybody will praise you for it but you'll soon lose much that's yours, in pursuit of the little that you think should be yours, enduring all possible hardships on the way.

If you are not smiling through the journey,you probably won't, on reaching the end.

So choose quitting for a reason over trying without reason.

Quit,because you're worth it.   

To,The Master, with love.

Everybody salutes the rising sun.But it's not long before they look away and scurry to become the vulgar throng,sinking in their familiar, Sisyphean travails. But sometimes,as though,just to let you use words like,ethereal, regal,effervescent, and many others that leave the otherwise,condemned to oblivion lexicographers,gratified,a phenomenon happens.A phenomenon that rises,twenty years and counting.Rising as if there is no horizon on the other side,Rising, as if age is a myth, that catches up only with mortals.Rising...to discard nature and the possible as an old,glorified, habit.

At the last milestone ever laid,where all others have stopped of concerns for breath and muscle tear,he looks as if he is just warming up.Having already assured at least two statisticians of their livelihood,he nevertheless,gallops on .We trudge far behind him, picking up the pebbles on which he trod,to collect,to help us believe in the far, unfortunate future.

For the effortless ease with he creates records,guards them and then destroys with nonchalance,he for an atheist(or otherwise!) is the closest to The Trinity.Not that such a veneration has not been proffered on him earlier,it just happens that he has held it long enough to make the distinctions between the tenor and the vehicle,in the metaphor,merely academic.When he often places those who watch him on cloud nines and seventh heavens,it'll be impudent on our part to try and gauge the height he is perched upon.The little master may well be the fabled little star that resembles the diamond in the sky.

Requiem for the Dusk

One of the many unfortunate things of growing up is that ,evenings lose their importance.Days seem to move seamlessly into nights nowadays.It's been a long time since I've seen a sunrise.It has been longer since i saw a sunset.Of course we in cities, even if we wanted to, can only see sun, about to set......Most of the times, you are in office,where the only sunset you are allowed to see is the one set as your desktop background.Even if it's a weekend,there are no evenings,there are only nights to hang out and the days to hang-over.

I remember how happy i used to be when swaabhiman on DD used to get over.It was EVENING....It was time to play.I liked summers,for the vacations of course,but also because sun allowed us few more minutes of clear vision.Long before i was taught trigonometry,i knew that the lengths of the shadows of the 3 sticks impersonating as stumps mattered.I always liked to keep a track as the shadows slanted,outgrew the crease then the pitch, till it finally became difficult to distinguish the stumps,leave alone their 2D counterparts on ground.The sun held meaning for us then.

Evenings in fact grew longer for me,before they finally disappeared.After the game,if it was time to rush back when i was 10, it was time for a casual stroll when i was 13 and time for a longer chat sitting on the cycle carriers when i was 16.It was somewhere here..between the cycle and the automobile that i lost the evenings.I guess i outgrew them,just like the slam books,the mysteriously shaped,smooth glossy pebbles, the WWF cards.....

But some wonderful memories will remain with me till the dusk of my life and beyond.

3 Idiots(1 writes;1 reads and the 1 who does niether)

The other day i met my cousin and as usual i decided Bollywood was the safest topic to talk about, because it  generally puts most people at ease in a conversation.He was no exception,in fact he fell right on the central tendency line.After katrina kaif he started about aamir khan..and asked me "Is 3 idiots based a lot on this book people talk about...what is it ...5.something?

i wanted to answer ..then suddenly it struck me .I asked "have you not read five point something?"

He said "No,I am not into books".

(Chorus from the background-"Oh- My- God")

People who put "text books and magazines" under the books heading in orkut also would have read chetan bhagat.But Here was actually somebody who had not read chetan bhagat!!!!.

Add to it, that he lives in bengaluru,and is in last year of his computer science engineering,i had my Ripley-believe-it-or-not moment of 2010.

It also later occured to me how chetan bhagat has become the essential reading of our times.His books are like oliver twist and david copperfierlds of this generation.(do excuse the comparisions.. but  i dont think dickens would mind it too much if  his books were read as much, at all).

50 odd pages into 2 states,i am rather liking it.Especially if you consider that i am simultaneously trying to read albert camus' insightful essays into the associations between the the perception of the absurd and the forsaking of life.

You have to concede,Mr Bhagat chooses his plots and curves carefully and makes sure you have smiled a few times before you put down the book.Which is not that bad ,isn't it?

StatUS Quo

Once there was a boy who after watching 15 park avenue at 2 in the night, seriously thought of running away from home to learn film making.He closed the door behind him and sat on the steps for a long time.....The night was cold.Cold enough..alas... to kill the feeble fire inside.
No body would have stopped him.
No body would have stopped him had he.........

Once there was a boy who after 2 years of wonderful learning, seriously thought of taking physics as a career.He would be stubborn he thought.Physics........Gravity,Relativity,Uncertainity..beckoned...
Nobody could have stopped him.
Nobody could have stopped him,had he........
.
.
.
The boy hasn't died.
He never dies.Nor does his fear.