When the world does not laugh with you.....

I have a pet peeve -People don't really appreciate my sense of humour( which IMHO, is highly evolved).Now that I think of it, I can't think of anything mine that people appreciate, but there's only so much that one can sulk in a post.So, what I mean to say is I don't crack people up with my antics((My grandfather gets very angry when somebody cracks up his antiques)See what I mean!!). Nor do I have a one-liners ready mandating high-fives(Which incidentally is Chetan Bhagat's GPA :p).But I still rate myself very high on the humour quotient.(You must have seen my talent if all those brackets have not confused you.But see, that's the challenge. It must also have crossed your mind that I don't rate myself low in anything.Point taken.But will you kindly read ahead?Thank you!)

 I really think I, at times, crack very intelligent jokes. I am so particular at making it 'intelligent' that the 'joke' part sometimes gets sidelined. Once it so happened that after I recited a joke, a short silence followed  before a gentleman asked me if banana was the answer. I felt peeled and told him that it was not a puzzle. Once banana was out of the picture, a few among the audience told me that they now got the joke.

Anyway, I have given up on a career in stand-up comedy.A few would say I could not have done worse but atleast now, I can sit while I suck So I have decided to regale selected people only.(Most of them are too closely related to stop seeing me, you see).

I also feel that am very good at understanding puns, sarcasms and mockery. Infact I am so good at it, that I can see a pun where there is none.I can go to multiple levels,planes and languages to derive an additional meaning. I have appreciated many a speaker for no fault of his/hers.

I have also been a student of humour in my own way. I have tried to analyse why some jokes are funny and why some are ludicrous. Why some produce a smile and some others a guffaw...(I could go on... I have GRE Verbal ability software literary talent also you see... ). Infact even with our current capabilities, I think it's possible to build algorithms that can make computer systems understand jokes. If they can play jeopardy, they can get my jokes.

I told my friend that I spent 1000 rupees on 2 books that tried to explain why jokes are funny.Yes, he laughed.    

P.S-It is not to insult your intelligence that I have italicized word plays. You can always use it to insult mine.

The 'Pretty' bias

For reasons which are beyond the scope of this blog, yours truly has joined a gym and furthermore has to go there and work out daily. I consider it one of the absurdities of our'evolved' society that you drive 2. 5 kms to that stupid gym and pay them 2.5 k just so that they'll let you walk on that treadmill for 15 min or so.

Anyway, In this gym that i go to, I have a 'trainHer'.  Thar's right. He has so little interest in training 'hims' that I thought it's only fair that I give him an extra 'h' and make his name suit his preferences .He is 6 odd feet tall with all the right bulges and cuts.The first day that I went, he asked me to do pull-ups.In a moment of haste (and in hindsight, a very forgettable one), I asked him how many? He just motioned me to start. All I managed was a pull-up and half-dozen microscopic movements and twitches. So my trainHer patted me on my back with probably the most condescending look I have ever received. He has watched me over these few days and whatever I have done over these few days has only cemented his opinion about me or the lack of it.

So the other day I really felt like telling him, that I am not the scum of the earth after-all and I .. well.. could be good above average in some other field for all he knows. Like I have cleared Vibrations in my first attempt, have heard of Kafka, Achebe  .. and so on...

But I realised I would have to first tell him who isAchebe, why it is good to read him and so on... Infact to explain any so called accomplishment of mine, I would have to give him an elaborate background as to why I think of it as an accomplishment.....Nah...not worth the effort.

So it suddenly struck me that Intelligence( or in my case, the pretense of it) needs to be explained. Beauty, however skin- deep or muscle- tight is self explanatory.

So next time, you have the sorting hat asking you, ... think what you want to shape.

        

The Sun in my________

I have been...how do I put it...amused, by people who come to sun-set points and try to catch the sun in any natural or artificially created hollows of their body.They slouch, crouch, squat and do the awkward likes in full public view just to make sure they make appropriate openings to create an illusion of the sun going into or out of their bodies depending on their inclinations. You know what, I don't think they intend to gulp / hold/ pinch or whatever action they threaten to do with the sun.They know sun is not tasty.don't they?... It'll give them gases at best. The action probably is deeply symbolic.I am sure Freud would have had something insightful to comment on it had he been privileged enough to to see a few samples. May be he would have referred to the fascination of men (and perhaps women) with huge round objects and intense desire to.. well.... do something to it.

We just cannot let them .. i mean it... peacefully pass by. 

'Inspiration is Dead'

Yours truly has finished reading Sophie's world and after 300 odd pages of philosophy( including juvenile humour), meant for 15 year olds, thinks he has understood all there is in philosophy. Sartre's "Man is condemned to be free" suddenly has started revolving in his head too much.The 'Existentialist' has suddenly awakened and demands answers to vague and what many would call non-existent questions.
But something like this happened after I had read a grahically illustrated book on relativity also. I stared at the distant 'horizon' but it was un'eventful' and nothing 'special' turned up. I read a couple more wiki links and found that physics( more so the popular science part of it), I understood, but Maths tangled me up. The only thing I still do is look wistfully at the Physics books displayed in the British library, every time I go there. So I have sufficient reasons to believe that this current infatuation will die down.This brings me to the question- What inspiration is inspiring enough? or whether any inspiration can be inspiring enough?

I wish I could say things like my uncle brought me Meccano and I liked it so much that I decided to become a mechanical engineer. I really wish I could. But truth be told- Beggars cannot be choosers and often become  mechanical engineers.

Perhaps I am inspired by so many things that I can't get inspired by any one thing ....sort of "condemned to be inspired' I guess.....
P.S- Ironically, inspiration-challenged yours truly, had an email id - inspire-world@yahoo.com , before some pervert decided to hack it.